11 September 2006

My mom sent me this in an email today. I think it's important that we realize that dying is a part of living. The mourning is for the loss of the person we loved, not for the fact that they have moved to a better place.

Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of death.

And he said:

You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heath of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; and like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

The Prophet
Kahlil Gibran
Walker & Company
Phoenix Press, 1923

More information about hospice can be found at http://www.hospicenet.org/.
I've got stuff to talk about so it's time for a blog entry.

First, what's on everyone's mind today. It's the 5 year anniversary of 9/11 today. All the deep thoughts and weighted statements can't reflect the importance of today in everyone's mind. This is one of those moments I will remember forever and that I will tell my children and grandchildren about. I remember that I was at work, as a nursing assistant at the time, standing at a patients bedside watching their television with them. It didn't make any sense to me at first. How did a plane manage to run into a building that big? And then it slowly came together for me and everyone other person glued to the news. And it is something we will never forget.

Now for what's on my mind today. It has not been a good summer to be my grandma. Early this morning my Grandma Ryan died. It wasn't entirely unexpected, she'd been under hospice care, her mental status and physical health had been declining for some time. But even when you're "ready" for it, it's still sad when it happens. There aren't that many people that have known you your entire life. People that have been there for every holiday as long as you can remember. So now I have to remember and share what I remember so that my grandmas can still be here even though they're gone.

In happier news, I had a fun weekend with some of my west coast cousins, good to see you all! See you when we move west!